"A safe space is not a space where you stay the same. A safe space is a space of love, but what does love mean? Love can be confronting and it can feel even dangerous and threatening to some."
bell hooks also blessed me with a renewed revernce for love and its nuance nature.
You are both a balm and beautiful challenge. You challenge with thoughtful clarity, precision and care. Please, keep compelling and propelling is with your words.
Brilliant, you synthsized exactly what I feel. Thank you for this.
Comfort (capital C comfort) is not the same thing as true pain, trauma, loss, etc.... so therefore we can stand to be uncomfortable while also being safe and loved. We can be uncomfortable while fighting for change. We can all find ourselves safe even when we are challenged, or pushed to grow. "safe spaces" shouldn't be banal and pointless and sanitized --- they should be raw and loving and fierce. We need fierce love in this world today. We don't need Comfort if it denies us love.
I agree "safe spaces" are often code for "do not disturb the peace". Peace, happiness, comfort, joy are not fixed arrival spots but emotions to experience and then move on. We must feel into the entire human experience in order to grow. This includes rage, frustration, sorrow and defeat. There are far fewer spaces able to hold these kinds of responses. But, we are all still learning, seeking and evolving. Thanks for sharing.
Exactly! And so many people are terrified of their own range. Their darkness. They put emotions in 'good' and 'bad' boxes instead of learning to handle all of them. Which is what makes you a safe person ironically.
Beautiful piece, thank you for this. So much of the work of growing safe within myself began with trusting I was putting myself in spaces where I could disagree and still know I am are deserving of love. Microdosing emotional risk. Also, I just added the road less traveled to my to-reads list.
Hell YES. Living in integrity means having to get comfortable with difficult and often confrontational conversations with people you love, but ultimately shows us what love really is, which you’ve articulated so well here. I want to bring people I love forwards with me and I want to be brought forwards by people who love me, with a calm and ever curious attitude. Thank you for this piece, I resonated so much with how you feel.
This was so beautifully said! As a mindfulness & meditation coach I'm faced with that response, "I thought you were nice", often when I challenge someones beliefs. Everyone likes the truth, as long as it's not a truth they need to hear.
As a fellow questioner (my best friend says I’m feral; my last boyfriend called me a juggernaut) I felt this to my core.
Many seem to think that words are more ephemeral than action but they are wrong. A word said often enough becomes an idea that seeps into the collective consciousness and colors perception. A word wielded well will bleed into a culture until it is accepted as truth regardless of its actual veracity.
In our current culture I have come to take issue with the use of the word “peace” when it is used (almost exclusively by men) to describe the ideal relationship.
It’s interesting how clever a trap it can be to tell a partner that you want them to be your “peace”. With one word you have set up a situation where any disagreement becomes a problem and a proof that the partner doesn’t respect them.
These are often the same men who are “blindsided” by wives leaving, often wailing that “our life was good. We never fought”. Shocking. You told her that your love was predicated upon her silence and to you that was peace while to her it was suffocation.
Love is messy. Your partner should always be your safe place, never your comfort zone.
"Love is purposeful, Love calls you out and calls you forward.
Love is expansive, a living, breathing thing, and as such, it cannot be stagnant."
This was written with such honesty & grace. Thank you for speaking my heart. Love is a life-giving impulse. Safe space should always contribute to Life & unity on a human level of Oneness, not sameness. ✨️💜
I really enjoyed reading this so much. Ps - I DO love the word “vibes” to be honest.
You're forgiven 😂
Also looooooved the bit all the way at the bottom of your post. About a future book perhaps? So excited !!!!!!
It's basically ready! 📖
Le tue parole sono sempre piene di passione, amo l’energia che mi trasmettono e per questo ti ringrazio
Grazie di essere qui con me 🙏🏻
Amazing piece Nadia.
"A safe space is not a space where you stay the same. A safe space is a space of love, but what does love mean? Love can be confronting and it can feel even dangerous and threatening to some."
bell hooks also blessed me with a renewed revernce for love and its nuance nature.
Thank you so much for being in this space Jamal! And yes, I adore Bell Hooks. I find myself high-fiving her books while I read them 😄
Absolutely and the first time I read her work I was more like 😮💨 lol.
You are both a balm and beautiful challenge. You challenge with thoughtful clarity, precision and care. Please, keep compelling and propelling is with your words.
You always find the words that push my heart to go further, to trust myself more and be confident. thank you endlessly my love!
Brilliant, you synthsized exactly what I feel. Thank you for this.
Comfort (capital C comfort) is not the same thing as true pain, trauma, loss, etc.... so therefore we can stand to be uncomfortable while also being safe and loved. We can be uncomfortable while fighting for change. We can all find ourselves safe even when we are challenged, or pushed to grow. "safe spaces" shouldn't be banal and pointless and sanitized --- they should be raw and loving and fierce. We need fierce love in this world today. We don't need Comfort if it denies us love.
"We don't need comfort if it denies us love." Exactly that! Thank you for being here ♥︎
I agree "safe spaces" are often code for "do not disturb the peace". Peace, happiness, comfort, joy are not fixed arrival spots but emotions to experience and then move on. We must feel into the entire human experience in order to grow. This includes rage, frustration, sorrow and defeat. There are far fewer spaces able to hold these kinds of responses. But, we are all still learning, seeking and evolving. Thanks for sharing.
Exactly! And so many people are terrified of their own range. Their darkness. They put emotions in 'good' and 'bad' boxes instead of learning to handle all of them. Which is what makes you a safe person ironically.
Thank you for being here Nichole!
Hey, Nadia! Thank you for this introspective piece. 💛
Pleasure :) Thank you for sharing this space here with me Adebola! ❤️
Beautiful piece, thank you for this. So much of the work of growing safe within myself began with trusting I was putting myself in spaces where I could disagree and still know I am are deserving of love. Microdosing emotional risk. Also, I just added the road less traveled to my to-reads list.
Microdosing emotional risk! How perfectly put! 😄
Hell YES. Living in integrity means having to get comfortable with difficult and often confrontational conversations with people you love, but ultimately shows us what love really is, which you’ve articulated so well here. I want to bring people I love forwards with me and I want to be brought forwards by people who love me, with a calm and ever curious attitude. Thank you for this piece, I resonated so much with how you feel.
Thank you for letting me know the way in which this moved you! It;s very meaningful Georgia!
I felt so much with this piece. I felt anger, understanding, and love. Thank you. 🕊️
My bones resonated with this. Thank you for writing, for sharing.
Thank you for telling me that it did Laura ❤️
This was so beautifully said! As a mindfulness & meditation coach I'm faced with that response, "I thought you were nice", often when I challenge someones beliefs. Everyone likes the truth, as long as it's not a truth they need to hear.
"I am not nice. I am Love." wow. yes to all of this. thank you.
As a fellow questioner (my best friend says I’m feral; my last boyfriend called me a juggernaut) I felt this to my core.
Many seem to think that words are more ephemeral than action but they are wrong. A word said often enough becomes an idea that seeps into the collective consciousness and colors perception. A word wielded well will bleed into a culture until it is accepted as truth regardless of its actual veracity.
In our current culture I have come to take issue with the use of the word “peace” when it is used (almost exclusively by men) to describe the ideal relationship.
It’s interesting how clever a trap it can be to tell a partner that you want them to be your “peace”. With one word you have set up a situation where any disagreement becomes a problem and a proof that the partner doesn’t respect them.
These are often the same men who are “blindsided” by wives leaving, often wailing that “our life was good. We never fought”. Shocking. You told her that your love was predicated upon her silence and to you that was peace while to her it was suffocation.
Love is messy. Your partner should always be your safe place, never your comfort zone.
"Love is purposeful, Love calls you out and calls you forward.
Love is expansive, a living, breathing thing, and as such, it cannot be stagnant."
This was written with such honesty & grace. Thank you for speaking my heart. Love is a life-giving impulse. Safe space should always contribute to Life & unity on a human level of Oneness, not sameness. ✨️💜