You spoke to my soul this morning. I have felt this way but didn’t have the words to express it. “belonging to yourself is not enough without a physical place to rest your bones.” 🖤🙏🏾
Read this while I was traveling last month and I wanted to get back to it, because it brought up something I've been grappling with. "Recognition" is such an articulate word to express the feeling you are talking about. I had never heard it in that context but it makes so much sense. I grew up where I was born, even though I lived in different places and countries since, and I don't know what it's like to grow up with the feeling of being an immigrant. So I read with curiosity about your experience with your Sicilian roots and the beauty of reengaging with them in new ways now.
Side note: it's funny, because there's something about Italy that has always made me feel like home when I'm there, even though (as far as I know) I'm not coming from Italian lineage. And I am totally romanticising Sicily in my mind. It has long been a place I'd love to discover (probably like "an over-excited tourist" which I loved your portrait of).
"Recognition", personally, reminded me that, beyond geography, the people who have known me the longest (aka biological family) turned out to be those that seem to have the most difficulty actually recognising me. I know this is the experience of many. I'm still slowly letting go of the illusion I was living with, that we were/are a "close and truly connected family". There's a particular kind of pain and grief that comes with this realisation, that I'm still processing.
Thank you for your story Isabel! ♥︎ I hear you! And this is why I have always run away from my roots and my family, because I didn't fit, they didn't recognise who I was on the INSIDE. From an inner world pov there is no recognition with my family. I had to choose the people in my life, with whom my inner worlds matched. But I realised now I was missing out on the OUTER recognition all my life. The language, the food, the looks. The simple basic stuff that somehow is giving me a sense of home too. As much as my chosen family recognises the me I am now, recognises my mindset, values etc - I often feel lonely when it comes to these outer things. It's a funny weird bittersweet thing.
And yes, you should totally go to Sicily!!! :) But I recommend not to go in August :)
Ohhh ok I understand how this is interlinked now. And I love for you that you get to consciously engage in the experience of that outer recognition lately (especially with Sicily as a backdrop!)! That must be beautiful and satisfying and healing too (that’s how it sounded to me). And it shines such a potent light on that huge mosaic you pictured. We get different kind of belongings, of different parts of us, with different people and different places.
You spoke to my soul this morning. I have felt this way but didn’t have the words to express it. “belonging to yourself is not enough without a physical place to rest your bones.” 🖤🙏🏾
This warmed my heart. Thank you for leaving this here Nelda. I am so glad the words reached you. ❤️
Read this while I was traveling last month and I wanted to get back to it, because it brought up something I've been grappling with. "Recognition" is such an articulate word to express the feeling you are talking about. I had never heard it in that context but it makes so much sense. I grew up where I was born, even though I lived in different places and countries since, and I don't know what it's like to grow up with the feeling of being an immigrant. So I read with curiosity about your experience with your Sicilian roots and the beauty of reengaging with them in new ways now.
Side note: it's funny, because there's something about Italy that has always made me feel like home when I'm there, even though (as far as I know) I'm not coming from Italian lineage. And I am totally romanticising Sicily in my mind. It has long been a place I'd love to discover (probably like "an over-excited tourist" which I loved your portrait of).
"Recognition", personally, reminded me that, beyond geography, the people who have known me the longest (aka biological family) turned out to be those that seem to have the most difficulty actually recognising me. I know this is the experience of many. I'm still slowly letting go of the illusion I was living with, that we were/are a "close and truly connected family". There's a particular kind of pain and grief that comes with this realisation, that I'm still processing.
Thank you for your story Isabel! ♥︎ I hear you! And this is why I have always run away from my roots and my family, because I didn't fit, they didn't recognise who I was on the INSIDE. From an inner world pov there is no recognition with my family. I had to choose the people in my life, with whom my inner worlds matched. But I realised now I was missing out on the OUTER recognition all my life. The language, the food, the looks. The simple basic stuff that somehow is giving me a sense of home too. As much as my chosen family recognises the me I am now, recognises my mindset, values etc - I often feel lonely when it comes to these outer things. It's a funny weird bittersweet thing.
And yes, you should totally go to Sicily!!! :) But I recommend not to go in August :)
Ohhh ok I understand how this is interlinked now. And I love for you that you get to consciously engage in the experience of that outer recognition lately (especially with Sicily as a backdrop!)! That must be beautiful and satisfying and healing too (that’s how it sounded to me). And it shines such a potent light on that huge mosaic you pictured. We get different kind of belongings, of different parts of us, with different people and different places.