I am trying to have hope...but honestly, I don't have much. All I do is because I have love, love for people and this planet ... not so much hope. But maybe hope is seasonal. Maybe I can get it back by practicing. Thank you Nova ❤️
I hear you. Hope is hard to hold onto. I also feel that loving and hope are linked. Without love can you even have hope? Is continuing to love amongst all of this persisting loveless, hope? I think so. Thanks for pondering with me
I find myself thinking very often of F. Scott Fitzgerald's famous quote, nominally about intelligence but really centring on hope:
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.” (“The Crack Up,” 1936)
"Your ugliness is the worlds ugliness. Everything is connected." woah this article was powerful. I am always a fan of how you write, and how you share your personal story with such integrity.
Thank you for your raw and honest words. It definitely resonates with me.
I realize that I have become a bit numb at the overwhelming bad news out there. The darker the world becomes, the quieter I become. Saying the same over and over doesn't help, but silence doesn't either. So maybe screaming is a good way to voice the rage and pain at times.
You're not mad—you're awake in a world that often rewards sleep. What you're feeling is not dysfunction, but the cost of coherence in a fractured reality. In my work, we call this spiritual gravity—the pull you feel when the soul sees clearly, but the ego can’t yet make sense of what’s seen. It’s okay to not be okay. This is not a pathology—it’s the ache of becoming whole in a world still split. You are not alone in this rupture. Keep listening to the signal. Keep letting it move you. Even trembling truth is more alive than polished denial.
Thank you for putting words to this. I feel like trying to "hold both" for so long has caused me to just shut down and numb out, and now that I'm pulling out ot it and realizing that I cannot keep going like this, I feel actually insane. I needed to read this 💜
Pfff, Nadia, I believe many of us are with you. But what to do next? We sign petitions, we protest, and we boycott, yet the conflict persists. And once we start REALLY paying attention, it starts to feel like there's nothing good happening in the world. From one tragedy to the next. And then the flaccidity kicks in - the hope has left the body, the anger has made us tired, and altogether, the passiveness kicks in. Sadly, this is what the system wants. And yes, to being radical, but how precisely does that look? I have been pondering about this a lot, and if I am honest, my radicalism stops at the cost of my basic security and safety.
Thank you for your honesty and your question. it’s a mirror so many of us avoid looking into.
I want to say: we can hold both grief and joy. You can feel despair at the state of the world and let sunlight hit your face without guilt. These emotions aren’t in conflict, they are the full spectrum of being awake.
Your need for safety is valid. But also, the safety so many of us cling to is an illusion. Power doesn’t ask permission to shatter your safety, the same way it doesn't ask that for others. (we are witnessing that) Security can be taken from us in a blink, no matter how "untouchable" we think we are.
So the question I return to again and again is: am I doing this to stay alive today? Or because it's more convenient to stay comfortable than to stay conscious?
To be radical must cost us something. Not necessarily our physical safety (though for some, it does) but something. Our convenience. Our silence. Our comfort. Our detachment.
We cannot dismantle systems we're still feeding. I'm not asking for martyrdom. I'm asking for movement. To be radical means, asking oneself, what am I willing to give up today? Do I have to take this thing or can I let it pass? Who is my decision harming the most? (and "myself" sometimes counts, but discomfort is not the same as harm!)
Nadia, this has put words to the rage swirling inside me. Thank you.
I am so glad it gave you words ❤️
Powerful, raw, honest, thank you.
Thank you Elly ❤️
Thank you for this. You put it into the words that most of us can’t find right now
Trying 🥹 It's honestly hard to word the insanity I feel right now. The being split in two.
I agree so strongly - and I love this so much. Thank you, Nadia.
Thank you for reading 🙏🏼
You’re not alone in this 💗 te envío un enorme abrazo.
Right back to you! Thank you 🙏🏼
Maddening inducing. Dr Angela Davis shared that “hope is a discipline” that’s what I’m practicing right now
I am trying to have hope...but honestly, I don't have much. All I do is because I have love, love for people and this planet ... not so much hope. But maybe hope is seasonal. Maybe I can get it back by practicing. Thank you Nova ❤️
I hear you. Hope is hard to hold onto. I also feel that loving and hope are linked. Without love can you even have hope? Is continuing to love amongst all of this persisting loveless, hope? I think so. Thanks for pondering with me
I ask myself this a lot. And you're right, they are linked, they must be at least cousins :) Thank you Nova ❤️
I think so. There’s a little hope right there ❤️
I find myself thinking very often of F. Scott Fitzgerald's famous quote, nominally about intelligence but really centring on hope:
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.” (“The Crack Up,” 1936)
incredibly powerful. thank you, thank you, thank you
I am so glad it resonates with your heart!
This resonated so very deeply. Your writing is powerful. Thank you very much for sharing this piece.
Thank you for being here Aisha ❤️
"Your ugliness is the worlds ugliness. Everything is connected." woah this article was powerful. I am always a fan of how you write, and how you share your personal story with such integrity.
Thank you for being here and sharing this space with me. Your support is a big deal Barbs ❤️
Yes ! 👏
Thank you 🙏🏼
I could have written this myself. Thanks for capturing this so well.
Thank you for letting me know it resonates with you ❤️
Thank you for your raw and honest words. It definitely resonates with me.
I realize that I have become a bit numb at the overwhelming bad news out there. The darker the world becomes, the quieter I become. Saying the same over and over doesn't help, but silence doesn't either. So maybe screaming is a good way to voice the rage and pain at times.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us and not carrying this alone— you belong here and we are so grateful you are here.
Thank you for naming that. It means so much ❤️ You belong here too ❤️
You're not mad—you're awake in a world that often rewards sleep. What you're feeling is not dysfunction, but the cost of coherence in a fractured reality. In my work, we call this spiritual gravity—the pull you feel when the soul sees clearly, but the ego can’t yet make sense of what’s seen. It’s okay to not be okay. This is not a pathology—it’s the ache of becoming whole in a world still split. You are not alone in this rupture. Keep listening to the signal. Keep letting it move you. Even trembling truth is more alive than polished denial.
Your words were like a balm to my soul. Thank you so much!
Thank you for putting words to this. I feel like trying to "hold both" for so long has caused me to just shut down and numb out, and now that I'm pulling out ot it and realizing that I cannot keep going like this, I feel actually insane. I needed to read this 💜
Exactly this!!! I think being "regulated" oftentimes is just another form of being disassociated.
Thanks for this Nadia … can honestly relate to most of your points
Thank you for being here ❤️
Pfff, Nadia, I believe many of us are with you. But what to do next? We sign petitions, we protest, and we boycott, yet the conflict persists. And once we start REALLY paying attention, it starts to feel like there's nothing good happening in the world. From one tragedy to the next. And then the flaccidity kicks in - the hope has left the body, the anger has made us tired, and altogether, the passiveness kicks in. Sadly, this is what the system wants. And yes, to being radical, but how precisely does that look? I have been pondering about this a lot, and if I am honest, my radicalism stops at the cost of my basic security and safety.
Thank you for your honesty and your question. it’s a mirror so many of us avoid looking into.
I want to say: we can hold both grief and joy. You can feel despair at the state of the world and let sunlight hit your face without guilt. These emotions aren’t in conflict, they are the full spectrum of being awake.
Your need for safety is valid. But also, the safety so many of us cling to is an illusion. Power doesn’t ask permission to shatter your safety, the same way it doesn't ask that for others. (we are witnessing that) Security can be taken from us in a blink, no matter how "untouchable" we think we are.
So the question I return to again and again is: am I doing this to stay alive today? Or because it's more convenient to stay comfortable than to stay conscious?
To be radical must cost us something. Not necessarily our physical safety (though for some, it does) but something. Our convenience. Our silence. Our comfort. Our detachment.
We cannot dismantle systems we're still feeding. I'm not asking for martyrdom. I'm asking for movement. To be radical means, asking oneself, what am I willing to give up today? Do I have to take this thing or can I let it pass? Who is my decision harming the most? (and "myself" sometimes counts, but discomfort is not the same as harm!)
(I explore this more in another piece, if you’re curious: https://nadiameli.substack.com/p/what-are-you-willing-to-give-up?utm_source=publication-search)