I love how thoughtfully you found / are finding yourself anew, freeing your being from all that lifeless conditioning. It sounds like a truly healing ritual to approach this through photography and so powerful too.
In the last few years my thoughts have shifted from caring about my looks to focusing on how I can live less from the mind and inhabit my body more. I do this through practices like dance or massaging my feet with oil before sleep.
I also stopped wearing makeup which, bonus, saves a lot of time and money. 😜
I love your journey and I agree and find it so so beautiful ❤️ I try to spoil my body with little acts of care as well and it helps with the acceptance and embodiment so much.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I really love your idea about using photography to move into acceptance about your body. One of my good friends is an artist, and I was photographed nude for one of her portrait shows. She wanted to show the diversity of female bodies, with all their cellulite and contours. Nobody knew it was me. I never told anyone. It was so powerful to see myself amidst all those other naked bodies. I remember thinking, this one’s interesting, and realizing it was mine. What a cool idea for a spiritual practice.
Ah how beautiful is that! I love that you were a part of this project! And finding the image of your body interesting without knowing it was yours at first! Shows how different we perceive our own bodies vs. other peoples too!
Photography is really powerful and confronting in that way!
Nadia, I’m so grateful for this. For sharing your nonno. This resonated deeply with me about my Pop (who I have been thinking of very often these days).
This reads like art work. I’ve found your writing like that several times before, but this digs into our sense of self, the others, the truth in there, the process to find what is true.
Mirror work is one of those practices I’ve slowly incorporated (and many time, avoided) but I am renewed and inspired (and not wholly terrified!), thanks to your artwork, to try this - in the way you shared. Thank you
Thank you for reading Sara, and for leaving love here. I appreciate you so much! I am glad the words helped and inspired you to go back to mirror work. I find it deeply fascinating to look at my skin and my body and how it changes my view of myself the more I do it. It's so cool that we can programme our brains with what we look at! Sending you a lot of love and compassion for your journey!
I’ve been fascinated by the reprogramming part. Often (to me) it feels complicated, but it’s not. Even the tapping aspect of things is so healing for rewiring. I’m a fascinated by the malleability of the brain.
Thank you for your inspiration. I appreciate you too!
I loved this and where it ended - your realisation that you love yourself and the body that you’re in. Thank God for your nonno for deeply planting something other than comparison and negatively about your body in you.
Like you I am not ‘thin’ never have been really and working in an industry that requires it, could have been my reason to treat myself really harshly in that pursuit. For one reason or another I didn’t and have always quite liked what I stare back at in the mirror at. Luckily my messaging at home was positive and that gave me a good grounding when it comes to body positivity.
Whether it has held me back from certain job opportunities or not I’ll never truly know thought I’m sure pretty it has and I’m alright with that. I’m happy with what I’ve achieved so far and feel as though the industry is changing a little at a time. Body size is but one facet of oppression that women have to deal with right - I guess I choose everyday not to live in a negative space about these unimportant outward things. It’s so important to first and foremost speak to yourself kindly. (Self) Love is and always will be the message 💛
It's so fascinating to read this from a woman that is incredibly STUNNING. Your face made my jaw drop - it boggles my mind the stuff we internalise about ourselves, isn't it crazy?! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here Gemma, I appreciate you so much! And it's beautiful to read that you love what you see in the mirror, because omg you should. 😍 Self love is such an interesting thing because it's so much deeper than what pop culture tells us. For me, i feel like it goes beyond loving my outside, it's such a deep acceptance to the point where the outside doesn't actually matter. Hard to describe, but I am getting there! Sending you so much love!
It is crazy isn’t it! Yessss to deep acceptance and that being a journey. I hear you loud and clear on this. Thank you for your sharing and your reply. I love your work and I must must must return the compliment because you are beautiful which is what makes this post poignant in places. 💛
Nonno 🥹 his words are SO moving, he chose to point out special and specific traits of you. He must have been a wonderful person.
Your words are so relatable. Im Italian. I’m short, olive skinned, I have dark hair that is not wavy and yet not curly. I’m flat chested, and I have never been thin. I have heard so many things about me and my body, I’ve cried all my tears, I’ve thought of surgery, I have starved myself.
Now I’m 35 and I've found some sort of closure. I didn’t turn out beautiful and I’m still not thin; I know that I don’t stand out as attractive or sexy; I just accepted the fact that I am the way I am.
I can fit into clothes, I can walk as far as I want, I sleep at night, I enjoy my food, my heart is strong and I am loved.
I know this, and yet I can still feel that sadness, that crave for acknowledgment and stolen glances from strangers.
Bellezza! Grazie per le tue parole cosi dolci ♥︎ I am so sorry to read about your journey, I can emphasise with the pain, I really do!
"I can fit into clothes, I can walk as far as I want, I sleep at night, I enjoy my food, my heart is strong and I am loved." This is such a poem in itself!!! I adore it! I am going to write it in my journal. You offered me a gift, thank you so much!
Being at home in our bodies is a journey, it's not linear, so yes, we can definitely hold both the love and sadness in our hearts.
Thank YOU for the kind words. Bodies are something we are born into: we can shape them to some extent, and yet we’ll never be completely satisfied with them, no matter how graceful, strong or healthy they can be. Some days are good, others are not: we are all just trying our best, aren’t we?
You always speak to my soul, my inner child, teenager, general self and your words resonate deeply.
I know this is far from the point of your beautiful piece (and I hope it does not offend) but it is so ironic b/c every time I have seen your photos I think your face is f*cking stunning. I envy the beauty I see, in the most flattering, healthy way I can convey. It’s not in a way that indicates I myself am not beautiful or that there is jealousy but I just find your face ‘stop in one’s tracks’ beautiful.
And that outer beauty is merely complimentary of the world of inner beauty you delve through and deliver to us habitually. It is your poignant thoughts and perspective on the world, your dulcet vulnerability that we each see a part of ourselves in, your admirable authenticity. You inspire and you unite. That is powerful. You are powerful 🫶🏼
This is such a relatable piece and was lovely written. The parts that resonated with me the most had to be the world words or should I say people and how comparisons tends to defeat what we truly see. When I was younger I was very dark skin, and I was teased for being so “black” so years after that I stopped showing my body in summer so my skin would lighten up… and trust me it did lol my face stayed brown and my legs were light skin. But as I have gotten older and stopped caring what others say, I have grown to really love my skin complexion, all of the browns I am. All of the browns I have been. I def feel I have been every complexion. Now that “dark skin” is kinda in, people appreciate it more but I wish they did more when I was younger. Sometimes when I feel about how the world think beauty is, it shows me they truly never will know lol beauty is more than what we look like, beauty to me is simply how beautifully we be ourselves. This is probably the first piece of yours I read and I will be reading more. You are beautiful! And thank you for sharing. Happy Monday 🌹
I am sorry for what you had to experience Jamisa! Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with me ❤️ I am so glad you've come to feel at home in your skin more and more. Sending love ❤️
Something similar happened to me but it was with women looking at me for the first time (at least that was what I believed at the time) when I started to lose weight and they started to give me attention, time and (on ocassions) their bodies. Even tho' I can't recall I ever had a body type or face type I prefered on women to this day.
This was something that was ingrained deeply within me. "Women notice me when I'm slimmer and have more muscles/toned body -> they give me attention, 'love' and sex -> looking slim and athetlic is good.
and I made that part of me, of my personality and I tied my worth to what other people thought of my body and face and ultimatly if they wanted to be with me or not.
Those where my 20's. I learned a lot about me and about women through that
My therapist suggested touching and taking care of my body to begin to love it but it really is a long and tricky journey. Thank you for writing and sharing this xx
Acceptance begins when you stop giving a damn about what others think. You look in the mirror and see yourself for what you are. No filters, no makeup, no apologies. Society throws all kinds of junk at you—how you should look, act, or be—and you’re supposed to fit into their neat little boxes. It’s a rigged game. We’ve been playing it since we were kids. Maybe they didn’t mean to mess you up, but here we are, carrying around all this baggage that wasn’t ours to begin with.
But to hell with that. Acceptance starts when you throw out the rulebook, stop chasing the impossible, and start living in your own skin. You are so perfect. Literally every inch of you. All of us are. It just is. It makes me so happy you use photography to harness acceptance, Nadia. That's a brilliant idea.
Yes and amen to all of this Mohika! Thank you for your words!!! It's so hard to get rid of the conditioning put on us, but a worthwhile journey. And it starts by seeing what message is ours and what isn't. I am so grateful to have photography to help me through this process. And so grateful for everyone in the comments who has been sharing their own journey of acceptance. You are right: we are all perfect.
Wow, I really saw myself in your words. As if being a woman with body hair wasn’t enough, my curls have always been undervalued and criticised too, since I understand myself as "gente". "Why don’t you straighten your hair? Comb it!" It looks like a "bombril" (a steel wool) they’d say. So much racism in those words. But my curls are my way of resisting the pressure to conform to whiteness's narrow standards of beauty.
Ohhh the curly hair dilemma! I know this so well! Thank you For sharing your story Luciana! And I am sorry you experienced this too. You and your curls are phenomenal just the way you are!!!
Thank you for your words ❤️
Thank you for reading and being here ❤️
Your nonno sounds wonderful.
I love how thoughtfully you found / are finding yourself anew, freeing your being from all that lifeless conditioning. It sounds like a truly healing ritual to approach this through photography and so powerful too.
In the last few years my thoughts have shifted from caring about my looks to focusing on how I can live less from the mind and inhabit my body more. I do this through practices like dance or massaging my feet with oil before sleep.
I also stopped wearing makeup which, bonus, saves a lot of time and money. 😜
He was truly special and I am grateful for him!
I love your journey and I agree and find it so so beautiful ❤️ I try to spoil my body with little acts of care as well and it helps with the acceptance and embodiment so much.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I really love your idea about using photography to move into acceptance about your body. One of my good friends is an artist, and I was photographed nude for one of her portrait shows. She wanted to show the diversity of female bodies, with all their cellulite and contours. Nobody knew it was me. I never told anyone. It was so powerful to see myself amidst all those other naked bodies. I remember thinking, this one’s interesting, and realizing it was mine. What a cool idea for a spiritual practice.
Ah how beautiful is that! I love that you were a part of this project! And finding the image of your body interesting without knowing it was yours at first! Shows how different we perceive our own bodies vs. other peoples too!
Photography is really powerful and confronting in that way!
Nadia, I’m so grateful for this. For sharing your nonno. This resonated deeply with me about my Pop (who I have been thinking of very often these days).
This reads like art work. I’ve found your writing like that several times before, but this digs into our sense of self, the others, the truth in there, the process to find what is true.
Mirror work is one of those practices I’ve slowly incorporated (and many time, avoided) but I am renewed and inspired (and not wholly terrified!), thanks to your artwork, to try this - in the way you shared. Thank you
Thank you for reading Sara, and for leaving love here. I appreciate you so much! I am glad the words helped and inspired you to go back to mirror work. I find it deeply fascinating to look at my skin and my body and how it changes my view of myself the more I do it. It's so cool that we can programme our brains with what we look at! Sending you a lot of love and compassion for your journey!
I’ve been fascinated by the reprogramming part. Often (to me) it feels complicated, but it’s not. Even the tapping aspect of things is so healing for rewiring. I’m a fascinated by the malleability of the brain.
Thank you for your inspiration. I appreciate you too!
You're beautiful and gorgeous no matter what other people say
Thank you, Nadia. Your words, your looks, your body, your hair, your heart… are beautiful! Please wrap yourself in self-love!
I loved this and where it ended - your realisation that you love yourself and the body that you’re in. Thank God for your nonno for deeply planting something other than comparison and negatively about your body in you.
Like you I am not ‘thin’ never have been really and working in an industry that requires it, could have been my reason to treat myself really harshly in that pursuit. For one reason or another I didn’t and have always quite liked what I stare back at in the mirror at. Luckily my messaging at home was positive and that gave me a good grounding when it comes to body positivity.
Whether it has held me back from certain job opportunities or not I’ll never truly know thought I’m sure pretty it has and I’m alright with that. I’m happy with what I’ve achieved so far and feel as though the industry is changing a little at a time. Body size is but one facet of oppression that women have to deal with right - I guess I choose everyday not to live in a negative space about these unimportant outward things. It’s so important to first and foremost speak to yourself kindly. (Self) Love is and always will be the message 💛
It's so fascinating to read this from a woman that is incredibly STUNNING. Your face made my jaw drop - it boggles my mind the stuff we internalise about ourselves, isn't it crazy?! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here Gemma, I appreciate you so much! And it's beautiful to read that you love what you see in the mirror, because omg you should. 😍 Self love is such an interesting thing because it's so much deeper than what pop culture tells us. For me, i feel like it goes beyond loving my outside, it's such a deep acceptance to the point where the outside doesn't actually matter. Hard to describe, but I am getting there! Sending you so much love!
It is crazy isn’t it! Yessss to deep acceptance and that being a journey. I hear you loud and clear on this. Thank you for your sharing and your reply. I love your work and I must must must return the compliment because you are beautiful which is what makes this post poignant in places. 💛
Nonno 🥹 his words are SO moving, he chose to point out special and specific traits of you. He must have been a wonderful person.
Your words are so relatable. Im Italian. I’m short, olive skinned, I have dark hair that is not wavy and yet not curly. I’m flat chested, and I have never been thin. I have heard so many things about me and my body, I’ve cried all my tears, I’ve thought of surgery, I have starved myself.
Now I’m 35 and I've found some sort of closure. I didn’t turn out beautiful and I’m still not thin; I know that I don’t stand out as attractive or sexy; I just accepted the fact that I am the way I am.
I can fit into clothes, I can walk as far as I want, I sleep at night, I enjoy my food, my heart is strong and I am loved.
I know this, and yet I can still feel that sadness, that crave for acknowledgment and stolen glances from strangers.
Bellezza! Grazie per le tue parole cosi dolci ♥︎ I am so sorry to read about your journey, I can emphasise with the pain, I really do!
"I can fit into clothes, I can walk as far as I want, I sleep at night, I enjoy my food, my heart is strong and I am loved." This is such a poem in itself!!! I adore it! I am going to write it in my journal. You offered me a gift, thank you so much!
Being at home in our bodies is a journey, it's not linear, so yes, we can definitely hold both the love and sadness in our hearts.
Thank YOU for the kind words. Bodies are something we are born into: we can shape them to some extent, and yet we’ll never be completely satisfied with them, no matter how graceful, strong or healthy they can be. Some days are good, others are not: we are all just trying our best, aren’t we?
Thank you so much for this Nadia. You speak the truth for all of us and it was validating to read. And your photography 😍😍😍
Thanks so so much for sharing it all.
It makes me happy to know that it helped Georgia ❤️
a beautiful and thought-provoking essay, and I relate in so many ways (especially the shame around hair). Thank you.
You're so welcome Courtney ❤️ thank you so much for reading x
Nadia 🥹
You always speak to my soul, my inner child, teenager, general self and your words resonate deeply.
I know this is far from the point of your beautiful piece (and I hope it does not offend) but it is so ironic b/c every time I have seen your photos I think your face is f*cking stunning. I envy the beauty I see, in the most flattering, healthy way I can convey. It’s not in a way that indicates I myself am not beautiful or that there is jealousy but I just find your face ‘stop in one’s tracks’ beautiful.
And that outer beauty is merely complimentary of the world of inner beauty you delve through and deliver to us habitually. It is your poignant thoughts and perspective on the world, your dulcet vulnerability that we each see a part of ourselves in, your admirable authenticity. You inspire and you unite. That is powerful. You are powerful 🫶🏼
Thank you so so much for your words Halle ❤️ my heart is glowing. Thank you for seeing me. And thank you for letting me see you too.
This is such a relatable piece and was lovely written. The parts that resonated with me the most had to be the world words or should I say people and how comparisons tends to defeat what we truly see. When I was younger I was very dark skin, and I was teased for being so “black” so years after that I stopped showing my body in summer so my skin would lighten up… and trust me it did lol my face stayed brown and my legs were light skin. But as I have gotten older and stopped caring what others say, I have grown to really love my skin complexion, all of the browns I am. All of the browns I have been. I def feel I have been every complexion. Now that “dark skin” is kinda in, people appreciate it more but I wish they did more when I was younger. Sometimes when I feel about how the world think beauty is, it shows me they truly never will know lol beauty is more than what we look like, beauty to me is simply how beautifully we be ourselves. This is probably the first piece of yours I read and I will be reading more. You are beautiful! And thank you for sharing. Happy Monday 🌹
I am sorry for what you had to experience Jamisa! Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with me ❤️ I am so glad you've come to feel at home in your skin more and more. Sending love ❤️
Something similar happened to me but it was with women looking at me for the first time (at least that was what I believed at the time) when I started to lose weight and they started to give me attention, time and (on ocassions) their bodies. Even tho' I can't recall I ever had a body type or face type I prefered on women to this day.
This was something that was ingrained deeply within me. "Women notice me when I'm slimmer and have more muscles/toned body -> they give me attention, 'love' and sex -> looking slim and athetlic is good.
and I made that part of me, of my personality and I tied my worth to what other people thought of my body and face and ultimatly if they wanted to be with me or not.
Those where my 20's. I learned a lot about me and about women through that
My therapist suggested touching and taking care of my body to begin to love it but it really is a long and tricky journey. Thank you for writing and sharing this xx
It's such a foreign thing to do at first, but you'll get used to it ❤️ sending you grace for the journey!
Acceptance begins when you stop giving a damn about what others think. You look in the mirror and see yourself for what you are. No filters, no makeup, no apologies. Society throws all kinds of junk at you—how you should look, act, or be—and you’re supposed to fit into their neat little boxes. It’s a rigged game. We’ve been playing it since we were kids. Maybe they didn’t mean to mess you up, but here we are, carrying around all this baggage that wasn’t ours to begin with.
But to hell with that. Acceptance starts when you throw out the rulebook, stop chasing the impossible, and start living in your own skin. You are so perfect. Literally every inch of you. All of us are. It just is. It makes me so happy you use photography to harness acceptance, Nadia. That's a brilliant idea.
Yes and amen to all of this Mohika! Thank you for your words!!! It's so hard to get rid of the conditioning put on us, but a worthwhile journey. And it starts by seeing what message is ours and what isn't. I am so grateful to have photography to help me through this process. And so grateful for everyone in the comments who has been sharing their own journey of acceptance. You are right: we are all perfect.
Wow, I really saw myself in your words. As if being a woman with body hair wasn’t enough, my curls have always been undervalued and criticised too, since I understand myself as "gente". "Why don’t you straighten your hair? Comb it!" It looks like a "bombril" (a steel wool) they’d say. So much racism in those words. But my curls are my way of resisting the pressure to conform to whiteness's narrow standards of beauty.
Ohhh the curly hair dilemma! I know this so well! Thank you For sharing your story Luciana! And I am sorry you experienced this too. You and your curls are phenomenal just the way you are!!!