I relate with so much of this, especially how much my connection with music was interwoven with my connection to God. Since leaving the church, the music is absolutely what I miss the most. And I’ve tried to look for ways since then to still experience a glimpse of what I felt then.
You always find a way to write exactly what we feel inside Nadia.
I remember seeing some of your posts in a not-so-distant past - loving live music. You felt so alive describing what you experienced that night at the show. It was a different part of you we’d never seen before. Finally, it all makes sense.
Whether it is words on a page or lyrics in a song, I’m so excited about everything you create and the songs you’ll put into the world. This is just the beginning.
Also
Can we also all gather here in the comments to comment on how perfectly the cello looks on you?
This was so beautiful, heartbreaking, and vulnerable to read. Thank you so much, Nadia, for sharing. Relationship to music is so deeply personal and sound, taste, scent, touch, smell -- all of our senses are so tapped in to the full spectrum of experiences we've had throughout our lives. This reflection on your relationship to music, to the joyful memories and also those you wish to block or move past altogether are so real and raw. I know that you will find your way back to music, through babysteps maybe and this type of reflection, it's only a matter of time.
I think about this in my own relationship to writing. The times I have walked away and needed to. The times I have yearned for it and was not ready. The times I was resentful of it. The times it brought me more than I could ever expect. But whenever I was ready to step back, writing was always waiting with open arms. I really feel and believe that music will do the same for you when you're ready. <3
As someone whose lifeblood is music who also struggles with worship songs embedded in my brain, I see you! But hey…maybe the way to enjoy music again is to fall in love with the music that you create yourself There is music in your souls and bones, you can play instruments no? Maybe just PLAY, for fun, to create your own soundtrack! Let it flow through your own fingertips. Play with the sounds that feel like YOU. Create your own musical universe that is safe and healing and YOURS. You are an artist after all. 🥰🥰🥰
" I want to feel it reverberate in my bones, a natural part of me, like the hair on my legs and the bend of my eyelashes." This bit really got to me Nadia! What a beautifully, beautifully written piece. Your writing and use of words and emotion just tugs at my heart.
I relate with so much of this, especially how much my connection with music was interwoven with my connection to God. Since leaving the church, the music is absolutely what I miss the most. And I’ve tried to look for ways since then to still experience a glimpse of what I felt then.
Back before I was on Substack, I wrote about my relationship with god and church no longer being the same: https://medium.com/writing-boys/im-still-at-my-old-church-180266327330?sk=b18eb131b1769b59507a84761964e0ea
You always find a way to write exactly what we feel inside Nadia.
I remember seeing some of your posts in a not-so-distant past - loving live music. You felt so alive describing what you experienced that night at the show. It was a different part of you we’d never seen before. Finally, it all makes sense.
Whether it is words on a page or lyrics in a song, I’m so excited about everything you create and the songs you’ll put into the world. This is just the beginning.
Also
Can we also all gather here in the comments to comment on how perfectly the cello looks on you?
Yes!
This was so beautiful, heartbreaking, and vulnerable to read. Thank you so much, Nadia, for sharing. Relationship to music is so deeply personal and sound, taste, scent, touch, smell -- all of our senses are so tapped in to the full spectrum of experiences we've had throughout our lives. This reflection on your relationship to music, to the joyful memories and also those you wish to block or move past altogether are so real and raw. I know that you will find your way back to music, through babysteps maybe and this type of reflection, it's only a matter of time.
I think about this in my own relationship to writing. The times I have walked away and needed to. The times I have yearned for it and was not ready. The times I was resentful of it. The times it brought me more than I could ever expect. But whenever I was ready to step back, writing was always waiting with open arms. I really feel and believe that music will do the same for you when you're ready. <3
A beautiful reflection on the music of your life and your faith. The longings will bring you back to center where your music resides.
As someone whose lifeblood is music who also struggles with worship songs embedded in my brain, I see you! But hey…maybe the way to enjoy music again is to fall in love with the music that you create yourself There is music in your souls and bones, you can play instruments no? Maybe just PLAY, for fun, to create your own soundtrack! Let it flow through your own fingertips. Play with the sounds that feel like YOU. Create your own musical universe that is safe and healing and YOURS. You are an artist after all. 🥰🥰🥰
" I want to feel it reverberate in my bones, a natural part of me, like the hair on my legs and the bend of my eyelashes." This bit really got to me Nadia! What a beautifully, beautifully written piece. Your writing and use of words and emotion just tugs at my heart.