I remember listening to the audio book of ‘The Secret’ on a car ride from Stuttgart to Venice. It was a 7 hour trip, more or less the length of the whole book.
There was a section with questions - and one of them was: ‘What about natural disasters? What about events where large groups of people who do not know each other die at the same time? Including innocent children? A plane crash for example.”
I kid you not, the answer coming through the speakers, underlined by mystical music was:
’Those people all happened to be on the same negative frequency at the same time.”
Really? The newborn babies on that plane too?
You are really telling me that all of these people happened to all attract this thing all at the same time.
What a load of BS.
As enthusiastic as I started the book, my confidence in this whole thing started to fade.
Let me expand.
There is something at work out there, that is hard to explain, I don’t deny that and I believe it exists. I know that much. Call it whatever you want to call it.
But are we taking it too far?
Here’s the thing with the law of attraction:
It works so conveniently when good things happen. When our dreams come true.
”Look at what I attracted! I know I did this!”
Good for you, that’s amazing.
But what about the hard stuff?
And I am not just talking not getting a job promotion. Or going on a terrible date that reminded you too much of a terrible Ex. I am not even talking about taking personal responsibility for messing something up. No question, some things you don’t ‘attract’ - you simply made a mess, so clean it up.
But most of the time, when it comes to the really hard stuff, this attraction thing does not make sense.
When it comes to life’s very real tragedies, the law of attraction just doesn’t hold up.
Nobody, I repeat: nobody attracts a natural disaster, a plane crash, a death, rape, nobody attracts being murdered or getting a terrible disease.
Try saying this to someone affected by any of the above.
So much of what happens is not in our control, nor is it under control of a god, control is an illusion.
Things sometimes happen for no rhyme or reason (even if we can find our own reason or meaning in it) - but I can see everything as an opportunity.
Did I attract this into my life?
And if I did, what did it mean?
Did I have more work to do in this area because this happened to me?
Did I attract this because I needed a mirror for my beliefs?
Because I still had the same belief I thought I had successfully worked through?
Or was it just a coincidence?
Was it me?
Was I the faulty piece in this equation?
(I swear all these theories sometimes just mess with your head)
No matter if I ‘attracted’ it or not - why could I not see what happened simply as a chance for growth, no matter where it lead to or who sent it my way and why?
For a while there I thought that thinking of ‘attracting’ things into my life would feel empowering. Like I created this, look at me, I am powerful.
It’s feeling less and less so now.
More like pressure and like doing it wrong, like I am somehow to blame if it doesn’t work out. Even though I believe that things ‘not working out’ are always a gateway for something better.
Is it empowering to know I attracted something or it the actual empowerment in the knowledge that I can use anything and transform anything into something? Into a lesson, into action, into change?
Even and especially the hard stuff?
’Attracting’ stuff feels fickle to me. Unreliable - and more importantly it feels like it doesn’t apply in so many ways.
It only works with the good things - but my friend being beaten by her Ex? She did not attract that. I don’t believe it, I refuse and I can’t. It’s completely ridiculous.
If something comes my way now, instead of breaking my head about whether or not I attracted it and what it means - I am just going to take the opportunity to learn, grow, enjoy, dare and LIVE.
Because the answer to ‘omg did I attract this and what does it mean’ is always the same.
Because it always always is about the one thing: Growth. To live this life is to grow through it.
So whatever happens, the purpose is always the same. Take the lesson. That’s where the juice is. Keep clinging on to life, dig your fingers in, even and especially when it sucks.
Tomorrow’s gold is in today’s dirt.
When something bad happens, it does not help people to hear why they attracted this, because for some reason they haven’t reached level 79 of enlightenment yet to only attract good vibes and never a bad experience (lol)
Hear how dumb that sounds?
That’s not reality.
We experience everything in our lifetime. Good and bad.
What you focus on expands - is that true?
Yes absolutely. I continue to experience this.
There is truth in this statement. But it’s not the only truth.
And all of it, the good and bad come our way to make us grow. Period.
I struggle more and more to use the word ‘attract’ in my vocabulary. There are pieces of truth in the ‘law of attraction’ but it has so many limitations and I think it can be taken way too far, to a point where it’s actually not even helpful anymore.
Again, try talking to a survivor about the horrible things they attracted, see what they have to say.
I find it more empowering to know I can work with anything life throws at me.
Acknowledging that while there’s so much I can do, not everything is in my control. That’s just facts.
Knowing that I am co-creating with life’s unpredictable curveballs.
This doesn’t make me passive. I am still out making it happen, but knowing that it doesn’t necessarily matter if I was the one attracting this shitty thing - it matters what I do now that it’s here. What I learn from it.
Attraction is neither here nor there and I stopped loosing sleep over it.
Bye bye law of attraction.
I live by the law of action and integration.
Thank you so much for giving me your time, reading, commenting and loving life letters! If you would take some time to share it with your people, it would mean the world to me. Screenshot it, tag me, send it to a friend, comment or gift a subscription - This is how my writing gets out there. By you sharing it. So thank you ♥︎
I love how you always show me another perspective to the one most people have. You are a gift Nadia🔥
Absolutely ADORE THIS!!!