I dealt with the aspects of myself that I found most difficult and then continued following the breadcrumb trail. That decided the roots I grew. Actions have consequences and dealing with the consequences and putting things in their place, whilst also honouring my needs, I learned to trust in the process.
Thank you Alex! I love this explanation actually....that your choices and actions determined the roots. Makes sense to me. I think I struggle with the choice & control part of it. I find it hard to let life lead me, I want to choose and letting it happen is something I am only learning now.
Hey Nadia, I loved reading this. I am on a similar journey. Yes I am coming to the conclusion too that it doesn't feel enough to belong to yourself. May be, it can be enough but it is quiet exhausting at times. I have been thinking about the things which can anchor me or make me feel like I belong. My job, money, natural beauty, good living standards and other things are not able to anchor me. The only thing I feel can anchor me are the people and I have been making efforts to meet new people through my hobbies. It has been beautiful yet exhausting at times too. I don't completely know the answers yet, it's coming down to I am ok by myself most of the times but I don't wanna be living like this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, even in their in-completeness. I appreciate you for that! Because I feel like if we are honest, this is a difficult one for most of us to answer!
This was so beautifully expressed. I resonate so deeply. I actually can’t even really tell you what waters me today other than the consistent witness to my self evolution. It’s absolutely isolating but liberating at the same time. It’s been a rough few weeks but my roots are still forming. My second life is presently being formed, the foundation is still growing.
Your writing is always so powerful. I read this at 2am and only 4 hours later have I been able to process this and think about the question.
It happened 3 years ago for me and split my head apart (in a good way, if that’s possible). Since than I have been able to plant myself and root through my coaching work, my family and few but incredibly intentional friendships/sisterhood.
I think it's very fair if you couldn't process this at 2 AM! 😄 thank you for sharing this with us, it means the world to me! I hope your roots are bringing you peace ❤️
I cried. Reading this I cried. Nadia thank you for your beautiful words. I feel so seen. I feel so privileged to land in a space where we talk about new beginnings- new lives. I think I might be on my third life; my second life being a delicious yet heartbreaking in-between. It’s been 2 years. I still overthink what I think love is meant to be. It’s a lonely space but when I approach it with curiosity n an open mind, I think this is where my roots grow. I too struggle with letting life choose me sigh the urge to be the one doing the choosing is strong. Oh to be in a place of surrender *swooning at the mere thought of living life from constant surrender*
Ah this is gorgeous! And a book that has been on my list for ages! I still haven't read it! Thank you for the reminder! And thank you for sharing the nature of your roots with me!
This was a beautiful mediation to begin the day with. I find myself rooted in the idea that I’m not of the earth but that we are the earth. I’ve been literally and figuratively untethered from everything- home, family, security etc for most of my life but I can come back to the idea that I’m here because I AM. Being a birther and a mother also remind me that I am rooted in my children and the family we have created outside of heteronormative ideas of nuclear families- rooting into queerness not as a sexuality but as in a way of life. I’m rooted in expansiveness and for all the times I have felt suspended within something I couldn’t cling to I am beginning to feel like this is a blessing instead of a curse.
Aaaaa I love how you acknowledge the need for both: roots in ourselves but also in the tangible, in the heartbeat of places and people. While self-belonging is vital, connection breathes life into us.
Soooo beautiful 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 After leaving organized religion and consequently unlearning and discarding almost all indoctrination from my childhood I felt every word of this. Lovely 💕💕💕
I recently worked on a decolonization thesis that talked about finding roots in ancestral lands. I just so happen to be heading to my ancestral lands right now…I’m wondering if I’ll feel an attachment to the land, an internal sense of home like the writer did in their thesis when they travelled to their sense of home. I’m so interested in this idea of memory encoded in our DNA, which apparently has a factual basis.
Anyway, that’s what I thought of when you talked about roots!
I haven’t read any other sources. But identity and awareness are at the center of the inquiry…it’s very interesting. I’m a social scientist but I’ve never had any exposure to decolonization or Indigenous research methods.
Hmmm! It seems that it/they choose me. Once I committed to my journey and my roots, I have learned that it is better to let things choose.
How did you choose which roots to commit to?
I dealt with the aspects of myself that I found most difficult and then continued following the breadcrumb trail. That decided the roots I grew. Actions have consequences and dealing with the consequences and putting things in their place, whilst also honouring my needs, I learned to trust in the process.
Thank you Alex! I love this explanation actually....that your choices and actions determined the roots. Makes sense to me. I think I struggle with the choice & control part of it. I find it hard to let life lead me, I want to choose and letting it happen is something I am only learning now.
An Andalucian sufi is reported to have said, "Freedom is to have no choice!" I think that this is what he meant.
No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell
That's encouraging because I have definitely been to hell! 😂😭
Hey Nadia, I loved reading this. I am on a similar journey. Yes I am coming to the conclusion too that it doesn't feel enough to belong to yourself. May be, it can be enough but it is quiet exhausting at times. I have been thinking about the things which can anchor me or make me feel like I belong. My job, money, natural beauty, good living standards and other things are not able to anchor me. The only thing I feel can anchor me are the people and I have been making efforts to meet new people through my hobbies. It has been beautiful yet exhausting at times too. I don't completely know the answers yet, it's coming down to I am ok by myself most of the times but I don't wanna be living like this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, even in their in-completeness. I appreciate you for that! Because I feel like if we are honest, this is a difficult one for most of us to answer!
was 2019 your 'sliding doors' moment?
You could say that yes :)
This was so beautifully expressed. I resonate so deeply. I actually can’t even really tell you what waters me today other than the consistent witness to my self evolution. It’s absolutely isolating but liberating at the same time. It’s been a rough few weeks but my roots are still forming. My second life is presently being formed, the foundation is still growing.
This comment is so gorgeous it sounds like a poem in itself. Thank you so much for this Mirna ❤️
Your writing is always so powerful. I read this at 2am and only 4 hours later have I been able to process this and think about the question.
It happened 3 years ago for me and split my head apart (in a good way, if that’s possible). Since than I have been able to plant myself and root through my coaching work, my family and few but incredibly intentional friendships/sisterhood.
Thank you for writing this 🤍
I think it's very fair if you couldn't process this at 2 AM! 😄 thank you for sharing this with us, it means the world to me! I hope your roots are bringing you peace ❤️
I cried. Reading this I cried. Nadia thank you for your beautiful words. I feel so seen. I feel so privileged to land in a space where we talk about new beginnings- new lives. I think I might be on my third life; my second life being a delicious yet heartbreaking in-between. It’s been 2 years. I still overthink what I think love is meant to be. It’s a lonely space but when I approach it with curiosity n an open mind, I think this is where my roots grow. I too struggle with letting life choose me sigh the urge to be the one doing the choosing is strong. Oh to be in a place of surrender *swooning at the mere thought of living life from constant surrender*
Oh to live in that place indeed! But I'm proud of you for choosing to try to surrender 😊 sending love to your roots!
Awww this is amazing!
I am happy you think so ❤️
"I hunt everywhere for a life worth living and a knowledge worth knowing.
Having roots nowhere, I have everywhere to go."
Elif Shafak wrote this in The 40 Rules of Love.
I am currently working on rooting into my heart, and into my body. Nature is very supportive for both. 🤍
Ah this is gorgeous! And a book that has been on my list for ages! I still haven't read it! Thank you for the reminder! And thank you for sharing the nature of your roots with me!
You’re in for a treat!
This was a beautiful mediation to begin the day with. I find myself rooted in the idea that I’m not of the earth but that we are the earth. I’ve been literally and figuratively untethered from everything- home, family, security etc for most of my life but I can come back to the idea that I’m here because I AM. Being a birther and a mother also remind me that I am rooted in my children and the family we have created outside of heteronormative ideas of nuclear families- rooting into queerness not as a sexuality but as in a way of life. I’m rooted in expansiveness and for all the times I have felt suspended within something I couldn’t cling to I am beginning to feel like this is a blessing instead of a curse.
Hmmm rooted in expansiveness. Such a beautiful reframe. Thank you for this offering Ava. You have given me so much to think about. I am grateful!
You are also the bearer of my favourite Name ❤️
Thank you xx
Aaaaa I love how you acknowledge the need for both: roots in ourselves but also in the tangible, in the heartbeat of places and people. While self-belonging is vital, connection breathes life into us.
I could not agree more Mohika. So so essential. Thank you for being here ❤️
Soooo beautiful 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 After leaving organized religion and consequently unlearning and discarding almost all indoctrination from my childhood I felt every word of this. Lovely 💕💕💕
I am right there with you!!! ❤️
I recently worked on a decolonization thesis that talked about finding roots in ancestral lands. I just so happen to be heading to my ancestral lands right now…I’m wondering if I’ll feel an attachment to the land, an internal sense of home like the writer did in their thesis when they travelled to their sense of home. I’m so interested in this idea of memory encoded in our DNA, which apparently has a factual basis.
Anyway, that’s what I thought of when you talked about roots!
Oh I am interested in this thesis about DNA. Can you recommend any resources ?
Here’s one, at least: http://www.sonic.net/~jkremer/Ethnoautobiography.PDF
I haven’t read any other sources. But identity and awareness are at the center of the inquiry…it’s very interesting. I’m a social scientist but I’ve never had any exposure to decolonization or Indigenous research methods.
And a workbook. I’m not sure how much it takes up DNA. https://www.amazon.com/Ethnoautobiography-Jurgen-Werner-Kremer/dp/0981970664
For DNA, epigenetics! https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-01433-y
Wow, thank you so much Liya! I appreciate you taking the time to share these!!!
The title alone made me squeal!