SCARED OF DREAMING
I haven't been kind to myself this year. I have been consistently speaking to myself the way I would never speak to someone I love. I've been feeling like a failure and telling myself as much.
I don’t know exactly when it happened. I got scared of dreaming. Tired of hoping. The change didn’t come fast enough. Not in the ways I wanted it. I was scared of dreaming too big and being disappointed again.
So I told myself this is enough. Stop wanting more.
Hope is a funny thing. Because I am a life artist, I know by now that there is always a way forward. I had to figure difficult situations out many times before without help or privilege, alone and foreign. I know how to do this. I know I can count on myself. Yet the anxiety in my body sometimes tells me otherwise.
The wonderful circle around me keeps reminding me of my dreams. They breathe hope into me, they speak to my heart of her worth and her path.