The beauty of becoming.

I am sitting at the Hoxton in Holborn, writing you this letter. It’s one of my favourite writing spots, dark lighting, cosy seats, and enough people to satisfy my craving for human energy whenever I want to leave my self-employed bubble. Plus, they do coconut hot chocolate.

The waiter brings over said hot chocolate that I ordered. He is Italian; like me, I can hear it in his accent, which sometimes prompts me to start talking Italian. But today I don’t mention anything. I can hide well amongst Italians anywhere, because I don’t have that sexy Italian accent, since I grew up in Germany. There’s a part of me that likes the fact that I can disguise myself, people struggle with pinning down where I am from when they first meet me and always guess wrong.

In some ways, writing does the same for me. When I write for myself, everything bleeds onto the page with no filter, no care, no judgement, and no hesitation. I have learned to be honest with myself when I am alone with words. When it comes to sharing them, I am terrified. I want you to know, but I also want to hide. And in some ways, writing on the internet is still hiding.

You see me, but you don’t really.

There are still miles and miles, oceans, cities, and a million stories between us, and we probably will never meet.

As exposing as writing can feel, it’s also fairly safe, still.

Why share then? Why bother?

The reason why I share is the same reason why it terrifies me: Connection. I share because years ago, when I felt alone with my questions, thoughts, ideas - I would have needed someone to relate to. I share because I read all your messages, your stories, I know how the mere knowledge of not being the only one, can give us wings. If we believe we are alone, it’s so much harder to keep going. Why not ease each other’s load by sharing? I share because I have gained so much courage from people who shared their journey. I share because it makes us see how much, at the end of the day, we are all the same.

There are many drafts in my folder, waiting to be completed, yet every week, all I can do is write from my heart, from that specific moment in time - the drafts remain untouched.

“Write what you know“ they say. It’s the truest place to write from.

At the moment, I have so many conversations with people about dreams, goals, feeling stuck and the desire to get ‘there’. I have felt this way many times in my life, I still feel it often. And it’s no surprise that we all do.

I realised that even when people reach their goals—the height of what they have always dreamed of—there is always more. Always something new.

There’s a German quote from a Wilhelm Busch poem that I love, and it goes like this:

Ein jeder Wunsch, wenn er erfüllt,
Kriegt augenblicklich Junge.

Roughly translated, it means:

Every wish, as soon as it’s fulfilled, immediately births children.

I guess this is, in some ways, a normal thing to feel in a society where self-actualization is one of the highest goals to pursue.

So I wonder if there is always another dream, another goal, another step, no matter how big or small—then aren’t we always in the middle? Aren’t we always in between things?
Why rush then? Why fear it? Why trying to skip it? Why hustling to get out of it as quickly as possible?

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The season we call the ‘in between’, the middle, is actually not a season; it’s a constant. We might as well just call it LIFE. We are always in between things, places, people, and seasons. We might trick ourselves into thinking we have arrived because we achieved one of our goals, but there will always be changes. The middle is a constant; it’s a guarantee.

We’re never ‘there’, but we are always here.

Trying to live in the future instead of in the present is what makes us feel ‘in between’.

Ignoring the situation we are currently in robs us of time and precious moments.

What we are living now is what we once wished for. And we are missing all of it by longing for what’s next.

The not ‘there’ anymore can be a wonderful feeling, yes, and not ‘there’ yet is a carrot dangled in front of us.

‘Here’ is truly all that we have today. Feeling alignment with your life path is infinitely better than simply ‘reaching a goal.’

Being here now is an achievement too. Savouring each day is an achievement. Coming back to yourself is an achievement. Healing is an achievement. Being brave is an achievement.

You're not failing just because you're resting.

The waiting is not the end and it’s not wasted time. It's just the middle.

What feels like the gap between the past and the future is your current life.

It’s your one beautiful life.

What feels like a gap is not something you need to skip as quickly as possible.
Life is happening to you right here, right now, in the gap.

Even if it doesn't look like it to anyone else, the gap is growing you.

What we call the in-between is a space full of possibility, full of promise, and full of hope. You can trust what you know now is exactly what you need to know for this part of your journey. Implement what has healed.

Even if you are not ‘there’ yet, not in the place you want to be, don’t have the tools you want to have, the opportunities or the people - you can already live to the highest expression of your current knowledge, today.

If you follow your curiosity and move towards life with an open heart, the answers will meet you.

This gap will close at some point. And then another will appear. Because this is just life.
You are always in between.
So be here.

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The gap you're feeling. The in-between. The middle.

Don't skip it.

It's not just something to overcome to finally get to the future you want.

The gap is where your life is happening right now.

The gap is your present.

Every part of the journey is valuable, not just the destination.

Don't be so concerned with closing the gap,

that you forget to savour the beauty of becoming.