Letter to a 9 year old
Nadia, little one, I love you.
You don't believe this right now because you think you're not worthy. You think you don't deserve to be loved because the ones that should have loved you have not shown up.
In that moment that broke your little soul, they left. They didn’t believe you. They ignored your pain because your pain reminded them of their pain. And that was too painful for them to look at. I’s something that humans do and you will understand it one day. It’s not an excuse for their behaviour.
You deserved better. Little one, you deserved protection. You are not to blame. This is not your fault.
When your soul broke, you became starved. I know you are willing to take every little crumb of affection they offer you. It won’t keep you fed for long, it won’t nourish you. But you are trying the best to survive, to stay warm, to not feel the pain. That’s ok little one. I understand it now. You’re ok.
There is a long way to go until you see those crumbs for what they are, but I came to tell you that everything will be fine little one. I am holding you now and I'm here to tell you you are loved.
You ARE Love. And you carry all the love you need inside of you.
Right now you're fragile, young and confused. You can't see the truth.
The one in you, not the one your parents or church have sold you.
The day will come though, when a door will be opened. A new wind will blow your life into a new direction and you will see light. Everything will be light. Flooded and drenched in the most clear truth.
You will see what has always been there and what I know now:
That you are worthy and you are good.
Nobody has to give you worth and nobody can take it from you.
The lies you believe now, they will be uncovered one day.
In the meantime, you will go through some rough patches.
Things will happen to hurt you, confuse, break you and make you sad.
All those things will point you towards the truth.
Because you are smart, curious, open and wise, you will understand this.
You will follow the clues and you will follow that soft voice.
A lot of things will drown it out sometimes, but you won't stop until you reach that door.
What's behind it is terrifying.
It goes against everything you think you know and believe.
But it will make you free.
Nadia little one, you didn't do anything wrong.
You came into this world perfect, not as a sinner.
I am holding you. You are full of wonders, wisdom, beauty, intelligence and power.
Your courage will lead you to breathtaking places.
You will learn that you can trust yourself.
That your knowing is the holy spirit. Your intuition.
What a groundbreaking discovery that will be.
I am so excited for this moment!
You will live shamelessly, you will be really free.
You will learn what love is and where it comes from.
You will learn that you're connected to everything.
You've never been separate from the divine, but it's always been you.
You are worthy beautiful child. Nothing is too good for you.
I love you. You are so loved.