I don't know how to keep going.
I wonder if ease will ever be the ground I walk on, not the cloud in the sky I can’t touch.
There are parts of me that seem forever gone.
I wonder if I will ever feel lighter again, if I will feel ease again, not for a few hours or a week, but consistently; I wonder if ease will ever be the ground I walk on, not the cloud in the sky I can’t touch.
I wonder if I will ever know what it’s like to exist without this breathtaking pressure to survive.
What is it like to not have that tight knot in your throat? I don’t remember.
Yesterday a friend told me, “no matter your circumstances, remember who you are.”
They say write what you know; today I am going to write about what I don’t know.
This is bleeding from my heart.